As time goes on you realize a thing or two about friendship. For one, friends grow apart. As people move on to different places in their life, the likelihood of one spending time with a friend either increases or decreases. And for people like me who are not good at keeping in touch with people, time spent often decreases.
It's a given that I won't keep in touch with all my friends back home who are living 3000 miles away, but not keeping in touch with friends at school is pathetic. For example, my absolute best friend from last semester (we used to be attached at the hip) and I never talk. She begged me to take a class with her and while I am so glad I took the class, we never talk. She is so much more interested in talking to her new friends in the class than catching up or hanging out. And of course, I get that. But it's kind of annoying how I feel like I've been trying to make an effort to reach out and talk to her and that it hasn't been reciprocated.
Last semester she spent every weekend in my dorm hanging out with me, this weekend she spends a lot of time here too -- but with her other friends. It's not as if she can't have friends, or that she has to hang out with me (I didn't ask her to come to my dorm and go out or anything) but she could have at least said "hi." But rather, she calls me in her intoxicated state begging me to go down to her friends room on the second floor and find her keys and wallet that she lost. To which I annoyingly obliged (I was studying) and the door was of course locked. I don't mind doing favors for her, just that I feel like she only talks to me when she needs something. I think that she legitimately cares about her friendship but we're drifting apart and I feel like this always happens to me. I always drift. I constantly drift.
We were best friends last semester, now we're barely friends. I'd like to think that I could call her if I ever had a problem, but I feel like I barely know her enough to do that. Plus, that's the place for a best friend. A title that we don't carry for each other anymore.
Sometimes I wonder why people drift apart. Sure, people grow up. People don't spend as much time with each other. But if you legitimately cared about each other in the first place, wouldn't you be the first to call and catch up?
I actually know exactly what you mean here...This has happened to me more than once - yet every time it's just as hurtful, not to mention annoying. From the sounds of it, you have every right to be upset. It just seems like she is in a different space than you and doesn't realise the effect she is having. I know people like that, and they usually act like that because that's what they expect from you. They treat people the way they want to be treated, I know that sounds contradictory, but it's true.
ReplyDeleteThe best thing you can do is either confront her about it (which would probably lead to a huge thing) or just respect that she is going somewhere different with her life, and start making other friends. Perhaps when she see's that you're less available, she will realise that you're dont always have to be there for her.
Hope that helps :)
Your blog is beautiful. :)
ReplyDeleteYou really know how to express yourself!
a-dreamers-disease.blogspot.com.au
Thank you, I appreciate it! It's sort of like an open diary for me. As an open person, I like it! Hopefully I'll get back into the swing of things again. it was so fun!
ReplyDelete